A Guy’s History Book: A Birthday Tribute to Neil Armstrong

What do you get if you cross a Congressional Medal of Honor, a Master of Science degree and a 5’11″ chunk of Wapakoneta, Ohio?

Neil Alden Armstrong.

Today marks the eighty-first birthday of the man who first set foot upon the moon. A man who, incidentally, discovered space in the first place, created the Sun and invented heroism.

Alright that last one isn’t true but the rest is. It’s difficult not to romanticise Armstrong like that but, in all fairness, he doesn’t give us much else to go by. Famed as much for his reclusive nature as his lunar walk he is a man so shrouded in mystery and engulfed in enigma as to be almost mythical. What’s his favourite colour? Does he like Thai food? Perhaps at night he dons a space helmet and fights crime. We just don’t know.

And be honest, have you ever seen these two men in the same room together?

What is known is his legacy and the impact he had the world. The name Neil Armstrong will forever be associated with space travel (being the first man on the moon does that), but he didn’t get to the moon by winning a competition. He was, and remains to this day, an extraordinary individual with an exceptional career. The truth is had he not been off planet that day in 1969 he would still be considered a giant in his field.

Let’s put it this way. Armstrong had a pilots license by his sixteenth birthday and was a fully qualified Naval Aviator by the time he was twenty. If you ask us that’s almost too much awesome for one lifetime, but hell, what do we know?

Armstrong had a pilots license by his sixteenth birthday and was a fully qualified Naval Aviator by the time he was twenty.

He studied for a degree in Aeronautical Engineering at the Purdue University under The Holloway plan whereby a candidate completes their Bachelor Degree before signing up for at least three years in Naval service. Oh yeah…  that’s right — he served in the Korea, flying 78 successful missions and earning three medals in the process.

After his Naval service he became a test pilot taking a place at the Flight Propulsion Laboratory in Cleveland, before transferring to Edwards Air force Base in California to work with the NACA (a precursor to NASA) High Speed Flight Station. Here he flew the North American X-15, achieving eye watering speeds of 4,000 mph (Mach 5.74) and heights of 207,500 feet. His previous engineering training gave him an incredible proficiency for flight, making him an asset to his superiors and an envy to his peers…

Very few people realise that Top Gun is a Neil Armstrong biography.

His career in space travel began when he was chosen to be part of the ‘Man In Space Soonest program’ (yes, that’s actually what they called it) and became the first American Civilian in space. He went on to command the Gemini 8 mission, serve as CAPCOM for the Gemini 11 mission and command the back up crew of the Apollo 8 mission.

But it was as Mission Commander of the legendary Apollo 11 mission in 1969 that engraved Neil Armstrong’s name into the history books. Leading a team of three; himself, Command Module Pilot Michael Collins and Lunar Module Pilot Buzz Aldrin (NASA apparently hire based on quality of name), Armstrong took the Apollo 11 into the Moon’s orbit on July 19th at 17:21. Then, on July 20th at 20:17, he and Aldrin touched down on the surface in the Apollo’s Lunar Module, The Eagle, leaving poor old Collins on his own in the command module.

Interestingly, during the initial planning, it was Aldrin who was meant to make that first step.

Interestingly, during the initial planning, it was Aldrin who was meant to make that first step. That was changed when it became apparent that Armstrong would be sat next to the door and Aldrin would have to climb over him to get out. We like to think that the two hours preceding the walk were just Armstrong and Aldrin exchanging “No please, after you,” and “Neil, I must insist,” while Collins presumably wept onto his mission badge.

But, as we all know, it was Armstrong who took that first step. He examined the surface, describing the dust as “fine and almost like powder” and then, with the whole world watching, stepped off the ladder of the Eagle and placed his left foot upon the moon.

There are few quotes that resonate so loudly, and with so much cultural significance as Armstrong’s words that day. “That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind,” arguably the most important quote of the 21st century, is so loaded with ambition and possibility that even in this cynical day it still packs a mighty punch.

With that step and those words, Armstrong became the poster boy, not just for space travel but for the very spirit of exploration. Here was living proof that we could accomplish, well, anything. With a man on the moon there was nothing the human race couldn’t do. Surely Mars would be colonised in time for the six o’clock news? We’ll have a McDonald’s on Neptune by Saturday, right? He was Christopher Columbus in a flight suit, a Captain Kirk you could bring home to your Mother. He was an intergalactic ambassador for mankind.

He was Christopher Columbus in a flight suit, a Captain Kirk you could bring home to your Mother.

And yet in spite of that Armstrong remains the dictionary definition of modesty. To him, he was just one of the thousands of people who made the Apollo 11 mission possible. We would argue that the project’s Mission Commander is a pretty integral role but again, what do we know? Even his famous words, so ingrained in our cultural consciousness were, in his eyes, fluffed. He has been quoted as stating he meant to say “one small step for a man” and had hoped it would be retroactively changed, but his initial quote (which had been broadcast live from the friggin’ moon) stuck. This modesty has seen him shun the limelight. No one would have blamed him for courting media attention, Buzz Aldrin has made a career out of it, writing two autobiographies, appearing on The Simpsons and, oh how we wish we were joking, releasing a record with Snoop Dogg.

Seriously? Buzz, SERIOUSLY?

In many ways perhaps space was a frontier too far for Armstrong. After retiring from NASA after a brief stint as an administrator Armstrong sought a simpler life. He wasn’t a celebrity or some kind of hero, he was an engineer and a pilot. He took a teaching job at the University of Cincinnati with the department of Aerospace Engineering and remained there until 1979. But even in this post he was hounded by admirers, understandably, clamouring for autographs and stories.

An auction house once famously claimed that Armstrong could make a million dollars in one afternoon if he agreed to sign autographs and that just further cements how significant and revered he remains in the eyes of the public. That kind of interest and devotion can only be expected. While public interest in the space program has dimmed since the sixties, our fascination with Armstrong will endure. He will always be beloved and revered, because when Armstrong took that “small step” he might as well have conquered Klendathuu.

An auction house once famously claimed that Armstrong could make a million dollars in one afternoon if he agreed to sign autographs…

So here’s to you, Neil. From all of us at Guy, Happy Birthday. When describing people of note, the word “inspiration” is thrown around too freely, but here it is utterly fitting. If you would prefer not to be considered a hero, we hope you will accept pioneer. For so many people you represent the fruit of human endeavour. You were part of a moment in history that changed, and some would argue united, the world. You are an honest to God hero…. oh, sorry.