You Don’t Need It: Now You Can Put Your Dick Into Frankenstein NSFW

Guy.com likes to keep its readers up to date on the realm of pleasure. After all, life ain’t just about good food, a good smoke, and great music. Sometimes we gotta go south to go north. And sometimes the tools of the trade are ridiculous.

We just wrote about a portable f-toy. We know. We should be telling you about a strange vibrator made of sheep hooves and sparkles just to change it up, but we found something worse. It’s called the (Seriously NSFW) Concubine Masturbator. How do you combine a dick, two boobs, two holes, a tuft of hair, plus your dick into one nightmarish ball of flesh and jism?

Oh. With this thing:

Yeah, it's that weird and full of naughty parts.

What their website doesn’t tell you:

The reason why there is a SALE price tag coming out of the dick hole.

Why there is a dick hole on this toy.

Which genes had to mutate in order to make this specific kind of dickjoy possible.

Why it exists.

What their website does tell you:

“Well the anal part ripped so I had to repair it, so it could be made from stronger materials if possible – but without taking away the feel.”

That it’s in their top one thousand best sellers. Good to know.

That it’s on sale at approximately $110 USD.