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You Don’t Need It: DIY Deflowering Kit NSFW

by
on May 4th, 2011 12:41 PM

Guy.com likes to keep its readers up to date on the realm of pleasure. After all, life ain’t just about good food, a good smoke, and great music. Sometimes we gotta go south to go north. And sometimes the tools of the trade are ridiculous.

If you’re the kind of guy that would have had a “Rape the women and pillage the village!” bumper sticker (carving) on the back of his horse cart had you lived in the Middle Ages, then you might be drooling for this special toy of deflowerment. Actually, we hope you’re not.

Click to deflower. NSFW

The makers of this Meiki (sex doll… well, partial doll) have redefined the pocket pussy (or onahole). You can now carry a pocket virgin with you. We owe it to the sexually forward and open culture of the Japanese to have created the Virgin Meiki Aoi Chihiro, a self sexing unit of grippable synthetic hips with two holes for the plundering. If you like the feeling of fresh-squeezed virgin, you can have a doll that constantly weeps blood because it comes with synthetic red lubricant that you can fill her up with first. It even has a hymen that you can work on destroying with your club.

If you’re in the U.S. this quiet virgin with no college degree or ability to make you a sandwich is going to run you $212 plus $77 shipping. So should you want to have a fake peep , the real conquest might just be the one against your wallet. In this case, green means red.

While you’re at it, don’t forget the Daughter’s Parts Lotion that actually exists.



4 Responses to You Don’t Need It: DIY Deflowering Kit NSFW

  1. Kate says:

    This is immensely creepy. And dumb. Has anyone in the history of the species ever had a first time actually worth going through all this trouble to replicate?

  2. I thought the Japanese had some weird sex toys, but a latex maidenhead that emits fake blood has to be high up there.

  3. mazikeen72 says:

    How immensely disturbing.

  4. brandon says:

    Exhibit 2,078,546 in the case against humans as a viable speciesl. More disturbing is the daughter’s parts lotion mentioned at the end. That reaches exponential levels of fucked-upitude. I pray to the spaghetti monster that the FBI tracks every. Single. Purchase of that and immediately removes all females from the prospective owner’s home. Including, but not limited to humans, smaller mammals, fish, amphibians, etc.

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