Guy’s Guide: Smoking a Tobacco Pipe Part3

Part 3: Maintenance and Accessories

Hello, handsome tobacco pipe enthusiasts. You know the risks of smoking, and you still like your pipe. You’ve learned about the anatomy of a pipe in Part 1 of this series, as well as the mechanics of smoking tobacco out of it in Part 2. Let’s talk about the future.

Maintenance

If you are on the lazy side, have no particular emotional attachment to your pipe, and don’t mind purchasing a new one every few years, then you can just skip this first section on maintenance. But your pipe isn’t going to last forever if left unattended. Pipe tobacco is nowhere near as destructive for a pipe as marijuana is, but if you smoke a pipe regularly, it is going to get gummed up. Cleaning a pipe is pretty easy, so there is really no reason not to do it.

To start with you want to make sure the bowl is free of tobacco. Do not bang the pipe against anything to dislodge tobacco from the bowl. I realize dudes do this in old movies and it looks awesome, but it is a pretty easy way to crack your pipe or break the stem off. Just use your finger or the pointed end of your tamper (if it has a pointed end), or a stick, it doesn’t matter. Just don’t banger it against your porch or boot. Less manly, but less dangerous for your pipe. Next, blow into the stem to make sure everything is out. Then just run some pipe cleaners through that shit until stuff seems clean. From time to time you will also want to remove the stem to clean out the crap that has collected in the mortise (see chart from Part 1). Just make sure you don’t remove the stem while the pipe is still hot, as this can result in the stem fitting loosely back in. And that’s no good.

To start with, you want to make sure the bowl is free of tobacco.

Don’t ever soak your pipe in water or alcohol. That should seem obvious, but we figure it is worth mentioning. This is a different case than when a weed pipe gets totally clogged; that pipe is made of glass.

Accessories

There are a lot of pipe accessories out there – of which you need none to effectively smoke your tobacco pipe. I recommended getting a tamper last time, but frankly you can use any suitable object to tamp (a large nail, a marker, your finger if you’re a total badass, etc). Of course, accessories are fun, and chances are if you become a serious smoker you’ll want to expand your world.

The most practical accessory to acquire initially is an ashtray. Most people generally have one of these lying around already, but if you don’t you will probably want one. You could just use an old soup bowl or any other sort of container, but that’s pretty ghetto. Respect your bad habit, man. Remember, you’re a classy gentleman now.

As a classy gentleman, you may want to take your classy new lifestyle outside of your home. Your pipe, matches (or lighter), and tobacco can easily be jammed in your pocket, but if you are transporting your gear frequently enough you may want to invest in a pipe bag or pouch. These range in price from simple little $9 pouches, to fancier leather carriers with different compartments for your tobacco and other accessories. Speaking of lighters: they sell special lighters designed for lighting pipes that direct the flame horizontally instead of vertically so you don’t need to twist your hand and risk burning yourself.

Also, if you grow to love your classy new lifestyle, you will most likely start acquiring more pipes. This may spark some interest in acquiring a pipe rack for which to hold them. There are racks that hold just a single pipes, and racks that hold up to twelve (generally circular shaped). Having a pipe rack sitting on your coffee table of course ups your asshole factor when people enter your home, but fuck your friends – rock your pipes with pride. If you are going to let it all hang out and be a true prideful classy gentleman, you might as well get a tobacco jar (or jars) in which to keep you tobacco. As mentioned in Part 2, keeping your tobacco fresh is pretty damn easy, but you can make it even easier by keeping the tobacco moist with a little humidifier. There are several kinds of humidifiers that come in small disk form, about the size of a thick quarter or silver dollar. They are pretty cheap too.

Like most hobbies, smoking a tobacco pipe becomes more interesting and rewarding the longer you do it. Once you can start experimenting with different tobaccos and finding your favorite type; once you’ve determined what kind of tobacco goes best with your favorite booze, or visa versa; once you’ve developed a relationship with your tobacconist; once you’ve acquired you second, or third, or fourth pipe. This is when shit gets fun. And hopefully I’ve gotten you one step closer to this reality.

Now go out there and start embarrassing yourselves by posting pictures of you and your pipe on Facebook, you classy gentleman, you!

Read Part 1 HERE.

Read Part 2 HERE.