Unpopular News: Man Spends $50, Gets $17k View

Shit’s blowing up and people are dying all the time at least somewhere in the world. That’s big news. And the giant news networks treat these breaking news stories in a way that defines both overblown and overrated. You see it, you read it, and then you continue to be insulted by its ubiquitous coverage on networks like CNN and Fox News, and then you go to your computer and see it diarrhea-ed all over the internet. We need a cure. In the spirit of embracing oblivion, Guy.com offers you the least trending topics we can find. In fact, we’re not even sure these items are news. But your local newspaper begs to differ.

Original Headline:

Oak Ridge fines resident $50 for cutting $17,000 worth of city trees

Knoxville News Sentinel
Oak Ridge, TN
Reporting Journalist: Bob Fowler

The city of Oak Bridge is a tiny bit pissed — quite literally a tiny bit. Some dude named Chris woke up one morning and decided that he would like to see the neighboring golf course and the Cumberland Mountains a little better. Out came the chainsaw, and down went his dignity. The Saturday Morning Paul Bunyan felled a bunch of trees in a haze of sawdust and noise and made way for massive mountain viewing times. He stood back and looked at his work with pride, now taking in the mountain vista and the guy surreptitiously pissing on the golf course. (We would warn against that.) He messed up, though. The trees were not his property to dispose of.

The city estimated the aesthetically-prompted damages he caused at $17-18k. In a punishment fitting the crime, they fined him $50.

Lesson: math is amazing.

Read the original story of failure here.